Following is a guest post:
M. and I do not use credit cards at all, but we do use debit cards. We have found doing cash only wreaked too much havoc in our marriage (as did tracking paper receipts and writing things down by hand.)
Ways and Means 2013 quarter 1, p. 14
I am grateful to read about another couple who are doing as we do. The author is recovering in DA, while his wife is not. This is our situation, also. It was really challenging the first year or two of DA work for both of us. My wife felt controlled, while I felt disrespected. Eventually, we figured out how to live lovingly together and allow me to work a money program.
At this point, I manage the money. I balance the checking account and the cash we keep on hand as well as pay all the bills and do most of the shopping. She earns the money, and tries to give me her receipts for spending. We each get money we call our “discretionary” money that we can spend on ourselves, and without any need to consult one another about, except occasionally to get clarity about whether a particular purchase comes out of our discretionary money or another category.
This past weekend I reconciled our checking account, and I realized how grateful I am for debit cards – they allow me to track our spending with precision even when I don’t receive the receipts she tries to make sure I get. I can have freedom from vagueness, and she has convenience.
Today, we talk about money when we need to. We will be making a larger purchase for our home soon, so we have discussed some of what we will need to do for that. We think together about what is coming up, and what we hope for as far as vacations, etc. We both attend our PRG’s, and we both have a say in how our money is used. We don’t use credit at all, and just heard that we have 19 months left of our 5 year credit consolidation/payoff plan.
We are so lucky to have me working DA and to be working together on our visions and supporting each other and our family.